The Family Favorite

May 9, 2018


Did your parents have a favorite child when you were growing up? 


Whenever my brother and I asked our dad and mom who their favorite child was they responded with the same line each and every time, I'm their favorite daughter and my brother's their favorite son...we're their only daughter and only son!


Before becoming a mother of two I wondered if I would love my first born more than my second and vice versa. Just the thought made me feel guilty. For so long my whole heart belonged to just my daughter. Seven years to be exact! How was I going to split myself and my love between two children? Well, if you're a parent of two or more then you know how that turns just happens. From what I've experienced growing up and as a mother myself, there's plenty of love to go around when it comes to a parent and their children.


Most of the researches I've read show that parent's usually do favor one child more than the other(s) and it tends to be the oldest because of all the "firsts" experiences. This is obviously different in every family and household. In my opinion, I do think favoritism exists but it also shifts throughout parent/childhood. There are a lot of factors that come into play when both a parent and a child favor one person more than the other. Whether it's gender, age, personality, stages in life, and even specific situations. 


Having a favorite child doesn't mean you love one more than the other. If you ask me, I don't have a favorite child...permanently. There are certain moments I prefer to share with one child over the other and that's just simply because of the age difference and their personalities. For example, if I'm going to shop then my daughter's my sidekick because she'd older, easier to be with in a store, and has an interest in things like clothes and shoes.  If I'm going to take care of household chores I prefer to tackle those on my own but if I had to choose one child over the other then it would be my son because he's at a stage in his life that he wants to explore. He's independent and willing to help so it's a good time to bond and get things done.




There's no denying that my oldest is a Daddy's girl and my toddler is a Mama's boy. We spend a lot of time together as a family but we also give the kids one on one time. I no longer feel guilt thinking or even saying that I have a favorite child because I've learned that they both are. They take turns holding the title. It's a different child everyday, every hour.



Just like my parents used to say to my brother and I. Jahzel's my favorite daughter and Jasaan's my favorite son. 

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